I needed to look up PTSD for caregivers and found this in NYTs. I use to joke about PTCGD (post traumatic caregiver disorder) but I don’t joke about it anymore. However, once again, this article focuses on the sweet side and is not close to what me and my brother are beginning to experience. NYT Caregiver Trauma Lingers.
This blog post, Caregiver Space comes closer to what me and my brother are feeling. I told my brother this morning that I wish mom was more normal. I would LOVE to take her to a senior day center for a few hours a week. I would LOVE to take her out of the house if we did nothing but ride around and look at things. But she is not normal. Never has been normal. Ever. I figured that out when I was 4 or 5. She is a woman of extremes. Extreme volatility. Extreme compassion. I love my mom and have always wished I could help her be happy, feel loved, feel worthy. I failed. It is up to her to overcome her psychological pain and past. She is two months shy of 88 so I do not believe she will get peace while still alive. Therefore, all around her will suffer if we are not strong enough to grasp her pain and let her own it, and also, be strong enough to protect ourselves with patience and forgiveness. My brother and I are bearing her burden. It has to stop. Each of us must protect ourselves and we must protect mom. It it time to do all of the prep work, which there is a lot, to consider placing her in a home.